Japan & Kiddo

my eyes are set on the prize.
i aim to live in a foreign country.
america is not for me.
i know japan is expensive and cluttered with rubble..
but, that is where i need to be.
japan is my home, and my homesickness is killing me..
i'm going there, one way or another.

a personal view

i do not believe in marriage.

call me neo-contemporary, but it is so unappealing to me (more than 50% of marriages end in divorce now).

the commercialization, the showing-off, the unnecessary act of publicly exposing that you will never be with anyone else.

i know who i love, and i do not need the security of a ceremony and legal papers to set that in stone.

perhaps, it is to celebrate the union of two people..

but, really, i celebrate that everyday..

yeah, yeah, yeah.. there are tax benefits to being married..but, what do i care?

i'm migrating out of the U.S. asap (considering Norway)..

i decline marriage and the ceremony of a wedding. this is my personal choice.

however, i definitely want a lil' kiddo one day..

a mini me to introduce to creativity and imagination, to be the best that he/she can be.

that is what i want. <3 

electric kiddo

i know, deep down in my soul, if i was not a painter, i would be in a rock band.

probably lead guitarist.

if i was not a dedicated painter, i would have poured myself into electric guitar.

maybe i would have been more well off.

but, i guess the music will just have to radiate within me, and give me a powerful force towards my paintings.

however, i will ALWAYS dream of being an active band member.

when i fool around on my electric guitar at home, i feel so damn cool.

i love electric guitar. it feeds me.

with no obstacles (finances mostly, and time), this is what i see myself doing:
-being lead guitarist in a sexy, badass rockband
-showing my paintings internationally
-publishing a book of poems based upon real experiences and feelings
-voice-acting in an anime show/film
-living/residing in an awesome country (not the U.S.) ...i shall do research for the best country for this Kiddo
  (to make art, create many things, and raise a tiny kiddo to be more awesome than me)..

PLANS, not dreams

i am young, but not that young.

anonymous: "where do you see yourself 10 years from now?"

dazed expression upon my face, as if i am at the crossroads of life.

me: "ideally? or realistically?"

anonymous: "let's say both."

me: "ideally, i see myself living in a different country, preferably a country in Europe. i see myself as a professional, international painter, who has shown her work in cities all over the world. i see myself to have stories, photographs, and memories from various travels to European and Japanese cities. i see myself more free than i have ever been.
realistically, i'm going to say that i see the same thing."

will i be alone or together with someone when i get there?
that, i do not know.
the important thing, however, is that i get there.

to get there, i need to kick my fighting spirit into full gear, and not let anything pull me back.
no marriage.
no kids.
no corporate american job.

please step aside, i'm out of here.

inside kiddo heart

my vessel and being is based almost entirely on emotion.
of course, intelligent thought is fully present; however, emotion appears to be dominant.
i feel emotion in everything.
..especially in such things as music. film. poetry. and art.
i'm a sucker for sad things.
not too sure why. perhaps, i relate too much.
i also find sad things to be so beautiful.
like a dark haired girl, alone in the rain, holding a single red rose.
something like that.
and piano music.
i love the serenity and solemness it can imply..

i'm also a hopeless romantic.
..even though i do not show it very much.
i have always thought of the most romantic thing to be:
2 long lost loves who find each other in places like london, paris, or tokyo.
and it has been so long; and they hold each other tightly, and kiss each other, as the city lights create a glowing silhouette of the reunited duo.

these are things that get me.
and i love it.

New Year's Resolutions

some believe it to be important and/or useful to make new year's resolutions. i am one of them.

i see it as an official, declarative way to make some life-changing and self-improving goals.

The only tricky part is staying accountable, and sticking with the goals and plans laid out. 

here is what i have thought of:

1. make at least 2 new pieces of artwork each week. (i figure the larger the portfolio, the better)

2. find and apply/participate in as many indie craft shows as possible (selling prints, and ultimately gaining more exposure with each show)

3. hang around more inspiring peeps- those who inspire me more in art, life, and philosophies (i expect this to keep me motivated and excited to keep making more art, and establish healthy friendships)

4. definitely write more, ...more journal entries (about ideas, thoughts, things i have seen, things i plan on seeing and doing, etc)

5. encourage and inspire others to do their best, just as i plan on doing my best at what i love

i know i can keep these resolutions, and i will make double-sure that i keep them!

-kiddo

p.s. play my electric guitar more