Kiddo's Dreams

Lucid dreams.
I recently watched a film revolving around the concept of lucid dreams.
perhaps, with training, i could accomplish this scientific phenomenon.
will i be able to be aware that i am dreaming, and be able to control what is happening?
if so, i want to be able to be in Japan with my cat Yoda, and exploring.

but, this will not just be a dream.
this will be reality one day.
as you wait for it, i plan for it.

Kiddo the Expat

It is blueprinted.
Kiddo has a plan, a scheme to become an expat and depart the states for Japan.
No one can convince me otherwise, nor can anything change my mind.
I have felt this in my heart for a very, very long time.
And it hit me, like a bolt of lightning, what the fuck am i waiting for?
So, here and now, immediately, I refuse to pay student loans.
I fucking refuse.
The extra money will be used to get the hell out of america, and live my dreams:
as a sketching, painting, expat living in Japan, teaching English and being emancipated from everything that is boring and smothering.
goal is October 2013.
Root for me!

-Kiddo

Japan & Kiddo

my eyes are set on the prize.
i aim to live in a foreign country.
america is not for me.
i know japan is expensive and cluttered with rubble..
but, that is where i need to be.
japan is my home, and my homesickness is killing me..
i'm going there, one way or another.

a personal view

i do not believe in marriage.

call me neo-contemporary, but it is so unappealing to me (more than 50% of marriages end in divorce now).

the commercialization, the showing-off, the unnecessary act of publicly exposing that you will never be with anyone else.

i know who i love, and i do not need the security of a ceremony and legal papers to set that in stone.

perhaps, it is to celebrate the union of two people..

but, really, i celebrate that everyday..

yeah, yeah, yeah.. there are tax benefits to being married..but, what do i care?

i'm migrating out of the U.S. asap (considering Norway)..

i decline marriage and the ceremony of a wedding. this is my personal choice.

however, i definitely want a lil' kiddo one day..

a mini me to introduce to creativity and imagination, to be the best that he/she can be.

that is what i want. <3 

electric kiddo

i know, deep down in my soul, if i was not a painter, i would be in a rock band.

probably lead guitarist.

if i was not a dedicated painter, i would have poured myself into electric guitar.

maybe i would have been more well off.

but, i guess the music will just have to radiate within me, and give me a powerful force towards my paintings.

however, i will ALWAYS dream of being an active band member.

when i fool around on my electric guitar at home, i feel so damn cool.

i love electric guitar. it feeds me.

with no obstacles (finances mostly, and time), this is what i see myself doing:
-being lead guitarist in a sexy, badass rockband
-showing my paintings internationally
-publishing a book of poems based upon real experiences and feelings
-voice-acting in an anime show/film
-living/residing in an awesome country (not the U.S.) ...i shall do research for the best country for this Kiddo
  (to make art, create many things, and raise a tiny kiddo to be more awesome than me)..

PLANS, not dreams

i am young, but not that young.

anonymous: "where do you see yourself 10 years from now?"

dazed expression upon my face, as if i am at the crossroads of life.

me: "ideally? or realistically?"

anonymous: "let's say both."

me: "ideally, i see myself living in a different country, preferably a country in Europe. i see myself as a professional, international painter, who has shown her work in cities all over the world. i see myself to have stories, photographs, and memories from various travels to European and Japanese cities. i see myself more free than i have ever been.
realistically, i'm going to say that i see the same thing."

will i be alone or together with someone when i get there?
that, i do not know.
the important thing, however, is that i get there.

to get there, i need to kick my fighting spirit into full gear, and not let anything pull me back.
no marriage.
no kids.
no corporate american job.

please step aside, i'm out of here.