flying aimlessly, yet in the right direction

how is it possible for one to prefer and enjoy solitude, but feel so lonely?
i love being alone with my headphones covering my ears, music invading my soul, and my hands nimble upon my artwork. my heart soars and my smile greatens.
yet, my core aches for eyes to look into.. in between sanding, in between brush strokes, in between singing, in between all that i am creating.
and it is not just for anyone.. it is for someone very special, and potentially close to me.
i look at my dexterous phallanges, and dream of one of my hands gripping another hand that is warm and right.

..in the meantime, i shake it off. and i keep progressing with my solo act of ultimate destiny and ecstasy.

wide-eyed, looking up, cute pout agape, heart pounding, messy hair, and arms flying...

maybe none of this makes sense to anyone, but it sure does to me.

no fear, just creation

i show no fear of anything.
all that is potential heartache, all that is predicted pain, i embrace.
suffering is not something i enjoy; however, if it is possible for me to revel and remain in pure bliss, then the risk is worth it to me.
if anything, i always have a santuary to retreat to.
and that is my creations- everything i imagine, sketch, paint, burn, build, etc.
this is how i will always live forever, no matter what.
i just desire someone to share it all with, that's all.