inside kiddo heart

my vessel and being is based almost entirely on emotion.
of course, intelligent thought is fully present; however, emotion appears to be dominant.
i feel emotion in everything.
..especially in such things as music. film. poetry. and art.
i'm a sucker for sad things.
not too sure why. perhaps, i relate too much.
i also find sad things to be so beautiful.
like a dark haired girl, alone in the rain, holding a single red rose.
something like that.
and piano music.
i love the serenity and solemness it can imply..

i'm also a hopeless romantic.
..even though i do not show it very much.
i have always thought of the most romantic thing to be:
2 long lost loves who find each other in places like london, paris, or tokyo.
and it has been so long; and they hold each other tightly, and kiss each other, as the city lights create a glowing silhouette of the reunited duo.

these are things that get me.
and i love it.

New Year's Resolutions

some believe it to be important and/or useful to make new year's resolutions. i am one of them.

i see it as an official, declarative way to make some life-changing and self-improving goals.

The only tricky part is staying accountable, and sticking with the goals and plans laid out. 

here is what i have thought of:

1. make at least 2 new pieces of artwork each week. (i figure the larger the portfolio, the better)

2. find and apply/participate in as many indie craft shows as possible (selling prints, and ultimately gaining more exposure with each show)

3. hang around more inspiring peeps- those who inspire me more in art, life, and philosophies (i expect this to keep me motivated and excited to keep making more art, and establish healthy friendships)

4. definitely write more, ...more journal entries (about ideas, thoughts, things i have seen, things i plan on seeing and doing, etc)

5. encourage and inspire others to do their best, just as i plan on doing my best at what i love

i know i can keep these resolutions, and i will make double-sure that i keep them!

-kiddo

p.s. play my electric guitar more

best friends

i just want to say that i think that best friends should stick up for each other no matter what. 

love interests should never get in the way of a true-blue friendship. 

...because no one cares like a best friend does. 

i hope he one day sees that.

time travel

it is a long time belief that i should have been born in the 1940s (in or near the year 1943).
here is why:
i would have been 20-something years old in the 1960s.
the music & art from this era match my soul so much more than anything else from present day.
music was pure, and possessed great skill and passion. you really had to be great.
art was so expressive and raw. real materials and human hands created thought-provoking paintings and sculptures.
everything was real.
technology had not yet corrupted these two elements.
this is where i belonged then, or perhaps belong now.
if i had the opportunity to time travel, i know where i would go, and probably stay.

memories, dreams, and imagination

sometimes my mind drifts back to about a year ago.

and i think, "damn, it feels like a long time since all of that."

things were so different then. so bittersweet.

and let's face it, things were so different 3 years ago too. and 5 years ago, and 7 years ago.

everything i have ever known and remembered feels to be in another lifetime.

people i have met, events and happenings in my life, and all other metamorphoses are so far, far away now.

and well hell, after flipping through photographs of my childhood, and getting shot up with flashbacks of a forgotten bliss, all of those memories just seem like i was asleep and dreaming.

however, i woke up a long time ago; and i have been fighting to hang on to the faint images in my brain that sometimes slip away.

and after all that...

now i think, where will i be in 1 year from now?

i want to be where my imagination and heart take me.

the journey

each day is a step, a step that makes up many within a long journey.
although, i wish it were a quick and easy journey.

i am working my way towards a goal, and a place where i can finally be who i am.
this place is far, far away; and i find myself frustrated and hopeless.

they say "look at you. why haven't you made it yet? will you ever get there?"
i look down at my feet and respond "i'm working on it. i promise."

there are those who believe in me though.
they say i can do anything.
"you can do it, kiddo! i just know it!"
and i feel a spark light within me.

but, should i believe in me?

i think i should.
..because if i do not, then i will never make it.
i have to make it.
and no one, not even myself, will stop me.

i make my world

i used to believe in everything.
in my youth, i was naive and accepting of what the big people told me.
the thought was grown-ups know best.
life was easy- all the facts were laid out for me.

but, i'm older now.
and i see that adults lie and/or are misinformed and mistaken on what they say.
the difference between what is real and what is false is blurred.

i used to believe in everything.
now, i'm skeptical and do not trust what is said to me without full evidence.
it may be safe to say i believe in nothing.

reality is what i make of it.
i control what is real; and i believe what i make with my mind.
it's the only way to live.