best friends

i just want to say that i think that best friends should stick up for each other no matter what. 

love interests should never get in the way of a true-blue friendship. 

...because no one cares like a best friend does. 

i hope he one day sees that.

time travel

it is a long time belief that i should have been born in the 1940s (in or near the year 1943).
here is why:
i would have been 20-something years old in the 1960s.
the music & art from this era match my soul so much more than anything else from present day.
music was pure, and possessed great skill and passion. you really had to be great.
art was so expressive and raw. real materials and human hands created thought-provoking paintings and sculptures.
everything was real.
technology had not yet corrupted these two elements.
this is where i belonged then, or perhaps belong now.
if i had the opportunity to time travel, i know where i would go, and probably stay.

memories, dreams, and imagination

sometimes my mind drifts back to about a year ago.

and i think, "damn, it feels like a long time since all of that."

things were so different then. so bittersweet.

and let's face it, things were so different 3 years ago too. and 5 years ago, and 7 years ago.

everything i have ever known and remembered feels to be in another lifetime.

people i have met, events and happenings in my life, and all other metamorphoses are so far, far away now.

and well hell, after flipping through photographs of my childhood, and getting shot up with flashbacks of a forgotten bliss, all of those memories just seem like i was asleep and dreaming.

however, i woke up a long time ago; and i have been fighting to hang on to the faint images in my brain that sometimes slip away.

and after all that...

now i think, where will i be in 1 year from now?

i want to be where my imagination and heart take me.

the journey

each day is a step, a step that makes up many within a long journey.
although, i wish it were a quick and easy journey.

i am working my way towards a goal, and a place where i can finally be who i am.
this place is far, far away; and i find myself frustrated and hopeless.

they say "look at you. why haven't you made it yet? will you ever get there?"
i look down at my feet and respond "i'm working on it. i promise."

there are those who believe in me though.
they say i can do anything.
"you can do it, kiddo! i just know it!"
and i feel a spark light within me.

but, should i believe in me?

i think i should.
..because if i do not, then i will never make it.
i have to make it.
and no one, not even myself, will stop me.

i make my world

i used to believe in everything.
in my youth, i was naive and accepting of what the big people told me.
the thought was grown-ups know best.
life was easy- all the facts were laid out for me.

but, i'm older now.
and i see that adults lie and/or are misinformed and mistaken on what they say.
the difference between what is real and what is false is blurred.

i used to believe in everything.
now, i'm skeptical and do not trust what is said to me without full evidence.
it may be safe to say i believe in nothing.

reality is what i make of it.
i control what is real; and i believe what i make with my mind.
it's the only way to live.

euphoric memories

after thinking carefully, i believe that if i could have one wish, it would be selective memory.
how great would it be to be able to delete those certain flashbacks of heartache and remorse?
i would like full control of my data banks.
"ok, i don't need this now, nor ever."
"this person. i would like to forget."

it is understood that mistakes would absolutely be deleted.
and don't we learn from our mistakes?
don't care! DELETED!
perhaps, i would encounter the subconscious knowledge that i should not go forward with person, place, or thing.
maybe..i would just know, based on instinct..from learned, yet forever gone experience.
therefore, it will be ok!

in addition, i would like to request memory replacement.
i will fill in and repair those areas that seem empty and scarce.
perspective determines one's reality.
to improve personal reality...

i would make it as if i were euphoric all my life.

gaze of a human boy

these robot girl's eyes open and begin to flicker. the gaze is set on a human boy's eyes, which are staring into hers. no other pair of eyes has looked into hers like this before.
the eyes of the human boy are dark and infinite, with such earnest intent.
he looks at her with the most love she has ever seen; and she is left awestruck, paralyzed and mouth agape.
all other eyes seem lifeless and unfeeling to her.
his possess everything that is life, and he wants nothing more than to give that to her.
robot girl cannot believe she found this.
human boy who wants to love her.
as he runs his fingers through her hair, and tucks a lock behind her ear, he leans in to whisper, "i'll keep you."

forward motion

everyday is one day closer to the accomplished plan.  i am working towards my goal little by little each day.  some days, it may be just a small step, and other days, i may take a huge leap. there are also days where i feel frustrated, and progression is slowed.
however, i will not quit this plan.  it is the most important thing to me right now.  this plan i have will set me free and give me the ability to be who i am.  so, therefore, giving up is unacceptable and is absolutely not an option.
keep moving forward- this is my philosophy.

a fact of life

in my experience, disappointments are at its worst when i am in love with the person. that's the way it works, you know?
maybe if it was someone else, it wouldn't really matter.
but, since it is him, i cannot fight this feeling of betrayal, as melodramatic as that may sound.
and i keep telling myself, "this is stupid. this is stupid. this is not a big deal."
however, deep down inside, "it's a big deal to me."

A Magical Night

Misty and damp, the nighttime atmosphere was illuminated by hazy, orange street lamps.

We were connected by cellular wires, as we held our phones so tightly.

"Where are you?"

My right ear was hanging on to every breath and sound escaping your lips, as I ran excitedly in search for you.

Turning each corner of the building, my heart raced faster; so fast, it rattled loudly within the cage of my ribs.

My innermost core was yearning to find you.

At the last bend, I was briefly frozen in my tracks at the sight of your celestial silhouette.

You turned, and fixed your gaze on me.

Without further hesitation, I flew to you to be met with the sweetest embrace ever bestowed to me.

Then, with your hand in mine, we ventured off into the rest of the night together, having never felt more young and free.  I remember that I never wanted the night to end. 

"I wish the sun didn't have to come up."

During that time with you, I realized I had stumbled upon a large puzzle piece that had been missing for a very long time. And it fit so perfectly.

I will always remember the colors, the sounds, and the way you held me that night, as you shared with me a story you had written.  It was the best story I had ever heard in my life.  Wrapped in pillowy blankets and feeling our hearts so close, I was so glad we were found.

You played this song for me that night.  And since then, it remains within me.

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Current Plans

I received my order of prints today from Overnightprints.com.
I ordered 175 prints (25 prints of each of my 7 latest works).
To keep the prints in pristine condition, I will be placing each print in a protective, clear plastic sleeve.
I should be having my first show weekend of June 25th and 26th.
In the meantime, I will be accumulating other items that exploit my work, such as postcards, buttons, and charming t-shirts.
Great things are drawing nearer each day.